


Convalescence

by alphonseelric22



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-21
Updated: 2014-02-21
Packaged: 2018-01-13 05:41:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1214809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alphonseelric22/pseuds/alphonseelric22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Relations between Drachma and Amestris are strained and war is soon to come. Will Ed's disappearance be the final catalyst for the beginnings of battle?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Convalescence

_'I'm going up to Drachma for a few months. Going to see what I can dig up on alchemy there.'_

 

_'Watch yourself up there, Fullmetal. The Drachmans aren't exactly fond of us.'_

 

_'I can handle it.'_

 

_'I'm serious. This isn't a joke.'_

 

_'Am I laughing?'_

 

_'I mean it. Be careful, Ed.'_

 

_'Yeah, yeah, whatever.'_

 

The office was too silent. It was because of that, that thing that had plagued them for nearly a year, that thing that reared its ugly head each time the door opened and blond hair peeked through. That thing was looming, slowly breaking them all down.

 

A few months had ended long ago. At first, it had seemed routine, a little extra time information hunting, coming back a few weeks late with a briefcase filled with scattered notes and quickly scribbled hypotheses. Those few weeks had stretched on and slowly became months, the months stretching on even further until the year was now nearly over; still no letters, not a single phone call.

 

They all speculated, formed an excuse that their brains could comprehend and would accept. Too enveloped in work, lost track of time, found a nice girl to shack up with, and various others. Still, they all kept coming back to the one that threatened them, hid in the back of their minds and sprung on them without warning.

 

No one would accept that Edward Elric had died. No one.

 

Things had become strained in the office. They all felt the absence, though none would ever voice their feelings. Alphonse had come to visit many times, always asking about his brother and always leaving with his shoulders sagging. They never had any new information but not for lack of trying. He'd searched tirelessly through every scrap, reread the letters to Alphonse countless times and turned up nothing.

 

For all of his efforts, he still knew nothing.

 

After many months, some felt it useless to try any longer but he wouldn't stop looking, not until he found something, anything, that could put all of this right again. He would not let the brothers Elric down, not now after all of their efforts to regain their lives.

 

So Roy Mustang searched again, read again, hoping against all odds that Edward Elric would just come back.

 

*~ ~ *

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

His whole body sagged and he sighed. Alphonse Elric had seen better days. His eyes were sunken in, his frame thin and bony. It was obvious he wasn't eating, wasn't sleeping. Al worried. It was something he'd always done well. Now that he was flesh and blood again, he worried with his whole body.

 

“I've been digging through everything I can find and I have still come up with nothing as of right now.” There was silence for a moment. “I won't stop trying.”

 

Al shook his head. “Please don't trouble yourself so much.” He swallowed hard, fighting back the impending tears. “Maybe it's time to start moving forward and continue our lives.”

 

He hated saying it, Roy knew by the look in his eyes. “Alphonse...”

 

“You've been very kind, General. I appreciate all you've done to help me but he's... gone.”

 

“Al, I don't-”

 

Al shook his head, letting a few drops slip down his cheeks. “No. It's been nearly a year. I'll call when I've finished the preparations for the funeral.”

 

Roy remained silent. There was nothing more to be said as Al turned and left.

 

It seemed that now he was the only one left with a shred of belief that Ed was alive. The young man had never gone down easily before, why should now be any different? Ed was stubborn, even in the most impossible of situations and he refused to give up, no matter what he was up against.

 

For his sake, Roy would continue to dig and search.

 

* ~ ~ *

 

The funeral was the last nail in the proverbial coffin for the others. It brought a sense of finality and lifted some of the weight from them as the empty casket was lowered into the ground. This was a sort of closure, the answer they had not wanted but had been given all the same. Now that there was indeed an answer to the looming question, they could finally begin to relax.

 

They needed the comfort of some sort of ending, whether good or bad, to bring their daily lives back into motion. Although Roy had not given up on him, he still gave the appearance of having moved on. It seemed as if his team had wanted him to continue properly living so badly that they had accepted his lie without question. He'd even passed under Riza's discerning radar.

 

Roy continued to work normally, or as normally as he could with Ed no longer popping in to share in their usual bickering. All looked as it had before the young man had left, but still, Roy did not give up. During the day he did his work and continued on. During the night he would continue to look for clues, no matter how futile it may be.

 

The months passed by, slowly becoming another year and a half. He'd found nothing and he was wearing thin on resources. Perhaps it was time he gave in and moved on. He hated the thought and it made him ill, but what else was there to be done? He'd done what he could for so long, poured through countless reports and newspapers and still came up with zero possibility of Ed being alive.

This was it, the end of his searching and digging. He couldn't do it any longer and so Roy gave in as well, succumbing to the reality that Edward Elric was in fact dead.

 

It'd been a few months since he'd finally come to accept it and it was still very difficult to let it all go. Over the past two years, it had become so routine for him to look for clues and traces of the older Elric brother that now his days seemed to stretch on for far too long with too little to do. He busied himself with the old once more: going on dates, clawing his way towards promotion, and occasionally having drinks with his team.

 

Although he had fallen back into his old life, there had been another change. Alphonse would periodically make visits in Central, checking in on the team and letting them know he was still walking around. He'd never fully recovered but that was to be expected. After the funeral, Al had immediately gone back to Xing to further study their alkahestry and he'd soon come to enjoy it so much he stayed. Still, he came back every now and again and he and Roy would sit down for dinner and talk about everything, save for a certain topic.

 

“How is life in Xing? Meet any lovely ladies we may soon be calling Elric?”

 

Al smiled. “Nope. Still no lady in my life.”

 

“How about that nice young lady with the panda?”

 

“Mei? Well, that didn't work out. We're still great friends, but she's married and has a child now.”

 

“I must say I thought you two were rather fond of each other.”

 

“Honestly, we were for a while, but I think it was just one of the whirlwind romance kind of things. She's got a lovely family now and her husband is thrilled to have her.”

 

“It's nice to hear she's doing well. What about the young Emperor?”

 

“Ling is the same as always; sneaking away from his guards, causing trouble, eating everything in sight. He never changes.”

 

Roy smiled, his meal currently forgotten. “How is life in the palace?”

 

“It takes some getting used to. It's a strange life when you're used to doing everything for yourself and suddenly there's servants waiting on you hand and foot.”

 

“It sounds terrible,” Roy remarked, smirking.

 

Al grinned. “Oh yes, it is rather awful.”

 

“All joking aside, I'm glad to see you're doing well Alphonse. Unfortunately, I need to get back to headquarters and finish up some work.”

 

Roy stood, paid for their meal, and gave Al a quick pat on the back before leaving for his office. With all that had been going on, he'd been sleeping in Central Headquarters many nights. He was making sure to get as much work done as possible to boost his chances of becoming Fuhrer as well as training new recruits in preparation for what was to come.

 

Their dealings with Drachma had become even more strained in the past year and it seemed war was unavoidable. All attempts at reasoning with their northern neighbor had fallen on deaf ears and only driven Drachma to declare their ultimate goal of taking Amestris for their own. Peace between the two nations was no longer an option. Even though the mass murder of the population of Amestris had been stopped, it seemed the bloodshed would continue.

 

He reached his office and instead of taking his place behind his desk, he sank onto the couch, letting his body get some much needed rest. He wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep when the door had opened but he'd thought nothing of it, Riza having come to wake him before. He cracked one eye open and spied the blond hair before rolling over.

 

“Five more minutes, Hawkeye.”

 

His shoulder was gently shoved. He stirred and sat up, blinking sleepily at the figure before him. This wasn't Riza, but the person wasn't unfamiliar either. It was another of those nights where he woke but his mind was still dreaming. It wasn't uncommon for him to see things or people who weren't really there and he just brushed this off as another of those encounters and moved to lay back down.

 

He was stopped by a thin hand, the fingers barely strong enough to grasp the fabric of his coat and it took his brain a moment to catch up with reality.

 

Roy was off of the couch in a flash, catching the small frame before it had a chance to hit the floor. He swallowed hard as he pushed back the dingy blond hair and stared into a face he had not seen in three years.

 

Edward Elric looked and smelled like death and Roy wasted no time rushing him to the hospital.

 

* ~ ~ *

 

It had been nearly a week ago that Roy had brought the very nearly dead Ed to the hospital and he was still not awake. As long as he did eventually wake that was enough. Roy had notified Alphonse as soon as he had the chance and he immediately hurried back to Central and hadn't left Ed's room since he arrived. It took Roy some hours to convince Al to get something to eat with the promise that he would watch over Ed the entire time the younger brother was gone.

 

Needless to say, everyone was in complete shock. Two years ago he'd been declared dead and here he came, back from the grave to shake everything off of its foundations once again. Edward Elric had always had a certain talent for disrupting the order of things at a level that was nearly chaotic. He always jumped headlong into everything, heedless of the consequences or danger he faced and came strolling back as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't been injured or thought dead.

 

Roy was exhausted but he barely slept, keeping watch during the times that Al needed rest or food. Another week went by and finally, by some miracle, Ed was awake.

 

“Ed! How are you feeling? Do you need anything? I can get the doctor right now and-”

 

Ed silenced Al by raising his hand and shook his head. Stubborn as ever he was, still insisting he was fine.

 

“Brother... where... what... how...”

 

He could not form a sentence and Roy could understand why. It was all so overwhelming, his brother back from the grave and, while not whole, still here before him. For Roy, he was both glad for the brothers and their reunion and worried for the older of the two. He'd spoken to various nurses and doctors and all had said the same thing.

 

It seemed Ed had been beaten and very badly as well as having endured some other forms of torture. It was a wonder he had even been able to walk with his left leg being nearly destroyed. While the construction of a new one could be rushed, there was no hurry. Ed wasn't in any shape to have automail reattached.

 

Among the other things he'd been told, Roy had found out that Ed had at least been moderately starved at some point and his body definitely showed it. He looked as Alphonse had when he'd regained his body: his fingers thin and bony, his skin clinging to his ravaged muscles. His cheeks were sunken in and his once bright gold hair was now dull, thin, and dirty. The doctors were shocked he even managed to survive, let alone get all the way back to Amestris.

 

There was also one more thing that was nearly the most worrying of all. Ed wasn't speaking. They weren't sure if this was due his physical health or some other factor but whatever it was, it was not a good sign. Ed had always been loud and brash, never quieting even in the face of some of the worst circumstances, but now he was silent, only speaking to them with gestures.

 

Whatever he had faced in Drachma had broken him.

 

He remained in the hospital for many months, healing physically but still very much emotionally scarred. Of course, he had been before, but he'd always made a point to hide those scars behind many barriers. Ed carried himself in a way that people could momentarily forget those scars and those horrors, with them occasionally surfacing again. Now he woke in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, eyes wide and distant, expression fearful.

 

One night in particular, Roy had been holding vigil at Ed's bedside while Alphonse rested in a spare room. He wasn't sure if he had dozed or not, but he clearly remembered fingers desperately grasping at his shirt, pulling him as he breathed unevenly and in obvious panic. His eyes were wide and he didn't look as if he knew where he was but he had seen a familiar face and he was scrambling to keep it in view and keep whatever monsters he saw at bay.

 

He knew that look, recognized the actions. He had experienced the same for years and even now still did on occasion. He knew he needed to calm him, reassure him that wherever he may think he was, he was not there.

 

Roy laid his hand over Ed's, speaking gently to him, “Ed, you're fine. You're in the hospital. You're back home, in Amestris.”

 

Ed sat completely still, eyes still huge and fingers still clutching the fabric of his shirt. He stared at Roy for some time before releasing him and resting his arms at his sides.

 

Roy breathed a sigh of relief. “It's okay now. Whatever happened, it's over.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

His voice was scratchy and a little deeper but still that same voice and Roy never thought he'd be glad to hear Ed speak.

 

“How are you feeling? Do you need the doctor?”

 

Ed shook his head and Roy feared that the apology was going to be the most he got out of him.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“Alphonse needed some rest. I agreed to stay and keep an eye on you for him.” There was silence for a moment. “He worries.”

 

“I know. He always worries. I'm fine. You can leave.”

 

Roy sighed. At least Ed could still be stubborn. That was a good sign. “No, I promised your brother.”

 

“So,” he rasped, licking his chapped lips and swallowing before speaking again. “we'll be fine.”

 

“At least you're still stubborn.” Silence again. Ed was staring down at his legs and Roy was watching his expression and looking for something to say to keep him from going back into his dream world. “What happened to you, Ed?”

 

Ed's eyes went wide again and he clutched at the sheets. “Don't ask me that. Please.”

 

His voice shook along with his body and Roy grasped for something to say. “I won't ask. Just rest.”

 

Ed nodded and lay back down, easily slipping into sleep once more.

 

* ~ ~ *

 

“Ed! How are you feeling? Can you talk? Do you need water?”

 

Ed managed a small smile. “I'm fine, Al.”

 

Al trembled visibly, grabbing onto Ed's hand. Roy watched the two brothers and decided this was a time where he was not needed. He stood to leave and was stopped by a quiet voice.

 

“Thank you, General.”

 

Roy gave a silent nod and left the room, giving the brothers the time alone that they needed. He didn't go far, only going as far as the cafeteria for coffee and food before returning to stand outside of the door. He ate quietly, hearing Al's voice hitch with emotion as he spoke and Ed quietly reassuring him that he was going to be fine.

 

After some time, maybe an hour or so, Alphonse left the room and approached Roy, eyes red but brighter than they had been in the past three years.

 

“I have a favor to ask of you, General.”

 

“You can call me by my name, Alphonse.”

 

“Could you possibly... I mean when they release him... can he stay with you?”

 

Roy looked at the young man. He looked as if he did not want to leave Ed but Roy could tell something important had come up.

 

“It wouldn't be a problem but may I ask why?”

 

“I need to get back to Xing. I've been gone for some time and being a personal adviser to Ling, they need me back there. Ed can't make the trip. He's still too weak.”

 

Roy nodded and placed one hand on Al's shoulder. “It's alright, Al. He can stay with me. I'll make sure to keep you informed of his condition.”

 

“Thank you, for everything. You've done so much for us and I don't know how we'll repay you.”

 

“Just stay alive and healthy. That's all I ask.”

 

Al smiled. “Thank you again.”

 

Alphonse left and Roy returned to Ed's room, sitting in his chair by the bed.

 

“Did he leave?” Ed asked after some time.

 

“Yes. He's returning to Xing.”

 

Ed sighed, looking a bit relieved. “He worries too much. He didn't want to leave but I sort of forced him to.”

 

“He'll be fine. You'll be fine.”

 

Ed nodded, looking exhausted but much better than he had a few months ago. He was already gaining weight, though not as quickly as the doctors would have liked, and his wounds were healing well. The hospital was very interested in knowing what all had happened to him in the years he'd been gone but Ed adamantly refused to speak on the matter. It didn't help that the doctors and nurses kept pushing for information. Their attempts only served to send Ed into screaming fits where he would be somewhere else, suffering immensely.

 

Roy had been trying to get answers from him as well, but he was much more gentle in his prodding and stopped when met with resistance. He knew how easily one could slip back into the darkness of trauma when forced to relive it, and he wouldn't be the one to do it to Ed. Whatever had happened to him, it was bad enough that he refused to speak on the matter. Still, Roy occasionally tried to persuade him into telling him.

 

“Ed, what-”

 

“Don't,” Ed said firmly, unmoving on the subject.

 

Roy nodded, quickly changing the subject. “Are you being released soon?”

 

Ed nodded. “In two days. They want to keep me longer but I'd rather leave.”

 

“Al requested that you stay with me.”

 

Roy was expecting a glare and instant refusal but it seemed Ed and Al had already spoken on the matter. Ed nodded and remained silent for a while, just staring ahead at the wall.

 

“Al told me about the funeral. Can't blame you all for thinking I was dead.”

 

“For a long time, we kept looking for... something, any clues or anything that would lead to finding you. None of us wanted to give up but... a year is a long time and it's difficult for most to keep hoping after so long.”

 

Ed remained silent and Roy felt this was his chance to let him know just what had gone on after his disappearance. He swallowed before continuing on, remembering how that time felt for his team, for Alphonse, and even for himself.

 

“Most of us stopped hoping and went on. It was hard, but everyone got back to their normal lives as best as they could.” He took a moment to let Ed process this new information before going on. “Still, I.. looked and looked for anything for the next year and a half.”

 

Ed turned and looked at him, just gazing at him for a little while.

 

“Why?”

 

“You two have gone through too much to lose it all again. Alphonse... wasn't taking it so well. I knew if I found you, things would be better for the both of you. I only found empty leads and, eventually, my search had to end. It seems though, there was no need for us to continue looking,” he said, a small smile on his lips, “as you always seem to find your way back.”

 

Ed stared at him for a while longer, expression unreadable, before finally looking down at his lap. “Thanks.”

 

* ~ ~ *

 

As expected, the hospital pitched a fit when Ed wanted to leave early, as did the military. Both parties were still fishing for answers as to what had transpired in the three years Ed had been gone, but he was not budging on the subject. Roy thought he could see Ed's eyes flash in a brief moment of panic each time it was brought up, but if he did, he refused to mention it to the younger man. Even though they had released him without getting a single answer, Roy was sure the military wasn't quite done with Edward. These days they'd been looking for any reason to begin the oncoming war with Drachma.  
  
It wasn't as if there wasn't already enough fuel on the fire, but neither side was willing to begin the bloody conflict that was to transpire without making themselves the hero in the process. Information on what had been done to a former valuable state alchemist would serve as the definite catalyst to the starting of a war. He wasn't entirely sure if Ed was aware of this possibility, but nonetheless he remained steadfast in his silence on the matter.  
  
Roy was glad to see that Ed's stubbornness had not just been a random fluke when a nurse wheeled in a chair and Ed's eyes narrowed.  
  
“I don't need a damn chair.”  
  
“Edward, you have one functioning leg. How do you expect to walk from the building?”  
  
Ed turned a glare on Roy. “I'll hop.”  
  
Roy snorted. “That would be quite a sight. Please just use the chair. No one is going to think you weak or pathetic for it.”  
  
To his surprise, Ed just nodded after a few moments silence and allowed the nurse to help into the chair. He still did not look terribly happy about the whole thing, but to his credit, it did seem he was reigning in his disdain about the whole thing quite well. The two left the hospital, Roy helping Ed into the car before putting the chair in the trunk. Both were silent for a time as the car started and began on it's way to Roy's home.  
  
He wanted to break the silence in some way but was entirely unsure of what to say. What did one say to a man who had only come back from the grave mere months ago? Sure, he'd found conversational topics at other times, but for the most part, he was at a loss for words around Ed these days. Not knowing the events that had transpired in the past three years and the obvious change in Ed was disconcerting.  
  
Words had always been a huge weapon of choice for Roy Mustang, and he took much pride in the fact that he could have both eloquent conversation and battle in the same sentence. But here, sitting in this car with this broken man, it was as if there was nothing that could be said. Anything he thought to say, small talk or otherwise, died before it could reach his lips. Edward Elric had always carried a heavy past with him and it loomed over him wherever he went. He had made it very clear he was to be treated like an adult and not the broken child he really was on the inside. He was not taking any special treatment, and so Roy dished out friendly insults and teasing as his way of keeping Ed from feeling too much like he was actually his age.

  
Now, he knew he couldn't even use that. Back then, it'd been easy. A quip about the boy's height or even shorter temper set off a flurry of curses and insults with him smirking and Ed fuming by the end of it but it was comfortable and, for the two of them, it worked. For some, it was better to use a much kinder tactic, but for Roy, it was his way of trying to make Ed feel at ease in a situation where he was much wiser than his short years and to keep the two of them more on the same level. However, he was sure Ed would have described it differently.  
  
Here, there was no need for something like that. Roy chanced a quick glance at Ed. He was staring through the window, likely not paying any mind to the scenery that passed by before his eyes. The silence was thick, and Roy continued to search for the words that could finally break it but came up empty again. It was terribly off putting to be so unable to speak with another human being. Roy did not enjoy the feeling.  
  
Ed was the one to finally bridge the gap the silence had made as they pulled into the driveway. He snorted, though the sound didn't have the same effect it did in days past, and managed a small smile.  
  
“Thought a general would have some regal home, not an apartment.”  
  
Roy smiled and put his keys into his pocket. “I was never quite one for the flamboyancy the other generals seem to be fond of.”  
  
“Could have fooled me. Hell, you practically ooze the quality, Mustang.”  
  
This was what he'd been trying to get to in the silence that had loomed the entire ride here. He quickly settled into their familiar jabs and pokes at one another, no hesitation with his reply. “You are hardly one to judge the flamboyancy of one's actions, Ed.”  
  
“Tell me again why I let Al leave me with you?”  
  
Roy laughed as he left the car and took the wheelchair from the trunk then went to help Ed into it, who again stared at the thing with nothing less than ultimate dislike. “Would you rather lean on my shoulder?” he asked jokingly.  
  
“And look like one of your girlfriends? Hell no. Give me the damn chair.”  
  
Roy smiled and got Ed settled then wheeled him up the few steps in front of his home and unlocked the door, leading both inside. He pocketed his keys then moved Ed into the living room and helped him settle on the couch. Roy watched as Ed looked around the apartment.  
  
It wasn't terribly large but it was still quite nice. He was sure Ed has expected it to look more over the top, but really Roy preferred to keep it simple. The living room had a couch, armchair, and table. Another door in the room led to the den and another to the kitchen. There was an upstairs area that was just the guest bedroom and bathroom and his own master bedroom. He saw Ed's eyes settle on the bookshelf in the den and smiled.  
  
“Would you like something to read?”  
  
He nodded and Roy went and got a few things for him to read. Ed thanked him and immediately began to read through the first book in his lap. It always fascinated him how Ed could completely lose himself in written words. It was as if the outside world no longer existed and only the world within the cover of whatever his focus was only was all that was. He somewhat envied that ability to fall completely into whatever he was doing.  
  
Ed's focus left the book as he lifted his head to look over at Roy. “Am I sleeping on the couch?”  
  
“I have a guest room you'll be staying in. Did you honestly think I'd let you sleep in the living room?”  
  
Ed shrugged. “It's better than the floor.”  
  
Roy stared at him and Ed put his full attention on the book again, or at least that's how it seemed. Sleeping on the floor? Was that something he had to deal with in Drachma? Roy was pretty sure Ed hadn't meant to let that slip. Even back when Roy knew all about what they'd done as children, it wasn't really a subject Ed had the habit of speaking on very often. “What do you mean?”  
  
Ed visibly stiffened, hands gripping the book a little tighter. “Nothing. It didn't mean anything.”  
  
It wasn't nothing. It was definitely much more than nothing. Against his better judgment, Roy attempted to probe a little further. “Why did you sleep on the floor?”  
  
Ed fixed him with a hard look and Roy could see the slight fear in Ed's eyes. “I really don't want to talk about this.”  
  
“I was-”  
  
“I don't give a shit what you were trying to do. Drop it.” Roy nodded and Ed returned to his book.  
  
Roy let the conversation die. If Ed ever told him, it would be on his own terms. Whatever he'd been through was bad enough that he refused to even breathe a single word of it. Ed hadn't really been vocal about the things that happened to him before, but that didn't mean the people he trusted weren't privy to the danger he put himself in or what he was going through. He'd at least given them that much. Now, he'd even refused his brother's request for information. That alone showed just how horrifying his life had been in the last three years. Roy would be lying if he said that didn't scare him down to his core.

 

**Author's Note:**

> For any who may have been confused by the timeline of this so far I will do a quick recap:
> 
> A couple of months into Ed's trip to Drachma, he has stopped sending them letters and stopped calling them.
> 
> Ed's funeral is set roughly a year after he left for Drachma. This is when everyone but Roy has stopped their search for him.
> 
> Roy then searches for another year and a half before finally giving up. Some months later (adding up to roughly three years that Ed had been gone) Ed returns by some miracle.
> 
> I did have a slight error in the way I wrote out the timeline in this first chapter and I have corrected it. I apologize to those who I have confused with this.


End file.
